Gelap Hati

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Akak usrah ajak join program weekend ni, tapi dek busy banyak kerja nak kena siapkan, tak dapat nak join. Presentation next week, that makes a powerpoint slideshow need to be done. Quiz and test on the same day next week, that makes productive revision need to be done. Report for group project must be submitted about 2 weeks from now, and that makes a research and perfect report need to be done. And countdown to final exam is starting a month from now. Banyak sangat kerja kan? ...

"Kalau kau betul-betul nak, beribu cara kau sanggup buat. Tapi kalau memang tak nak, berjuta alasan boleh kau bagi."

Menyampah jugak sebenarnya dengan diri sendiri, entah apa benda tak cukup masa lah apa lah. Orang lain busy jugak, tapi elok je pi join program sana sini, pi dengar talk, pi tengok teater (lately banyak sangat program kat yuyaiyey). Even orang lain yang jadual kelas dia lagi pack pun boleh join program or join society, kau yang ada banyak masa free, awat tak boleh? Kau ada 24 jam sehari, orang lain pun sama then awat depa ada masa boleh join program sedangkan hang tak? Jawapan dia senang je, tengok hati tu. Tengoklah cepat.

I once came across a tweet that means something like this - kalau tak dapat pergi program agama sebab takde masa, takpelah nak buat macam mana. Bukan sebab masa yang tak cukup sebenarnya, tapi hati tu dah gelap, sebab tu tak tersentuh bila diajak untuk join program agama." Tipu ah tak terkena batang hidung, nasib baik hidung besar (whut?)

If you really love or like something, you'll work hard for it right? Kalau kau tak cintakan majlis ilmu, how can you expect yourself to be there? Memang tak ah. Hati tu gelap, takde rasa langsung nak pi join majlis ilmu, talk agama and etc. Berjuta alasan boleh ah nak kasi, padahal the real reason is the heart itself.

Macam mana nak ubah? Paksa jugak diri sendiri tu, lama-lama kau akan terbiasa nak pergi majlis-majlis ilmu. Hmm I don't know, can't even help myself about this, such a pathetic person.